Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
