I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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