I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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