Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
