The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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