Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
