I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There r osticjed everywhere
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
