You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
