I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize