I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I want her autograph on my taint
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
