my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
