The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
