your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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