So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
