Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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