so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize