you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
