It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
