I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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