we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
