I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Gay?
German.
Pity.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
