So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
