Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
