how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
