I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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