My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
