you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
