threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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