question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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