I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
