The maid of honor just puked.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
