Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
