They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
