If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
