Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
