i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
