he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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