tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
