I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
