Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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