dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Drunk is not a location!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize