I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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