we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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