He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
