I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
