i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Randomize
