I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize