the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
two words...techno handjob
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
third nipple confirmed
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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