Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
