we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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