no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
