it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
