I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
