It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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