Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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