Already got asked if we're dating
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
