eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
