Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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