Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
