My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
