I just saw a hot homeless man
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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