You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I have aggressive nipples.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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