i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize