my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
