I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
