I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
