So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
