Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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