Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
