im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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