I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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