party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
