TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
